Tag: Hugh Hainey

Ha.Ha.Said The Clown,,

Ha.Ha.Said The Clown,,
By Hugh Hainey.

Maw, maw, kin ye press them claiths a put oot, jist whin ye git the chance,
Me and my pal ur jist gawn intae ma room tae practice oor new wee dance,
Is ma hair awerite, hiv ye gote a brush? Dae ye think these ur no awfy tight,
Thirs a brush ower there, calm doon thirs nae rush,, naw they look jist right,,
👕
Ok, right leg oot, n ‘ swing it tae the left, noo ye twist it, then ye bring it back,,
Noo a hope ye git it right this time, cause see last week ye wur far too slack,,
Ok, right i’ll play that record fae that “Manfred Man” Ha Ha Said The Clown”
Naw , naw ! no like that, up n’ back, “awe” look yiv pulled ma curtains down,,
😈
Right thats us awe ready tae go tae the “Troc” n’ wir gonnae hiv loads of fun,,
Awe look the baith of ye look smashin, good night, be good, enjoy yisels son,,
“Whit” did ye think thit it wis two “lassies,” talkin’ jist because of the bit crack,,
Naw that wis a true wee story aboot me’ teachin’ ma pal tae dance “Willie Mac”
👞
Well dae think awe you wimmin wur the only wans thit dressed up fur the night,,
Ye see us guys hid tae be jist as fussy” it wis important fur us tae look jist right,,
Even awe them years ago a jist knew thit Willie, a great future he hid “cummin”
A didnae know aboot him being able tae sing,, bit his feet wur always “Hummin”
😅
A went oan that ‘Faceache’ last year, well a recognised him straight aff the bat,,
The only difference noo is thit he’s a Country singer n’wears a big Cowboy Hat,
He wis anither wee Hamilton guy, n’ great” jist like awe the ithers thit ave knew
A still like pop music, n’ country, maybe he’ll sing aboot “A BOY NAMED HUGH”
(YEE HA,!)

POEMS N’ PEARLS,,

POEMS N’ PEARLS,,
The poem below was written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Hainey.

Is it a poem yir lookin fur? Look no further than this site, the poetry is class,,,
Thank god fur Wilma Bolton, Kit Frank Duddy, and of course Elizabeth Glass,,
Well am back so yir stuck wae ma wee rantins’ bit, jist awe of the funny kind,,
A only tell of ma wee memories, “and youres” a hope, bit it’s no a poem mind,,
😊
A kin remember the guys wore suits n’ ties, n’ granda shirts wae plasic collars,
It wis realy magical back then gawn tae ‘Troc’ we awe looked a million dollars,,
Then it wis “Twiggy” style fur the lassies, skirts like a belt, naw! don’t ye snigger,,
Cause a know first hawn aboot the “socks n’ tissue” used tae make things bigger,
👠
Then awe the fashion moved oan it a rapid pace, we wur awe in oor middle teens,
I’ll bet ye a poun tae a penny, thit all of ye sat in the bath tryin tae shrink yir jeans,,
Awe the lassies fashion wis amazin’ bit changed, skirts doon’ in came the middies,
Only now thir wis somethin’ different “the wonder bra” transformed yir ‘cleavage”
👙
See am no that auld thit a cannae remember’ thit we awe dressed with a passion,
Every wan of the lads n’ lassies there, wur awe “dedicated followers of fashion”
Tae this day it’s still awe designer,,bit ma advice is tae ye jist wear whit ye may,
I’ll tell ye boy” yil never beat ” the style thit “Hamiltonians” wore back in the day,,
👖
( they seek him here, they seek him there, )

The Troc Watermarked.

See you,, See me,,,

Logo1.JPG

See you,, See me,,,
Written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Hainey.

See you, Historic Hamilton” am telt “yir great” so kin a no join yir group,,,
See me,, a went oan anither site n’ a dropped masel’ right intae the soup,

See awe a did wis tae tell we true storys, n’ a tried tae make people laff’,,
See me, a wis telt thit a wis writin’ too much so a decided, jist come aff,,,
😃
It wis probably awe ma fault, n’ a spat the dummy n’ toys oot the pram,,,
Ur maybe it wis cause a love tae laugh too much bit that’s jist who a am,

Awe these wee funny stories aboot Hamilton, wur runnin roon ma head,,
Only intending tae bring happy insights aboot where a wis born n’ bred,
😈
Ma goal is tae make ma wee memories mingle in wae awe of youres,
A don’t know aboot you, bit a could talk aboot “Hamilton” fur oors,,

No much got by me whin a wis younger, n’ walkin’ roon this auld toon,
Always sayin’ c’mon n’ hiv a laugh on me, bit don’t try tae caw me doon,
😢
See you, every single post oan here, goes tae show, yir the “best”thir is,,
See , a might no be brainy” bit whin it comes tae the toon a know the bis”

See me, naebody his tae tell me thit the people ur awfy nice n’ pleasent,,
See me, if ye lit me I’ll tell ye aboot “Auld Hamiltons” past no’ present,,
☺
( from, Hugh Hainey, B.I.B. eating humble pie,, )

Thanks,

Thanks,,,
 
Ye know fur years ave bin paintin’ a picture, a ‘portrait’ ye may say,,,
A paintin’ thits filled wae vibrant colours, but wae nae black nor grey,,
 
It’s a panorama’ of ma wee “hame”, with people of a very special kind,,
Bit ye see thirs nae need fur paint nor pallette, it’s a pictur’ in ma mind,,
 
Lookin oan this “Historic Hamilton” a love it, readin awe yir great posts,,
That’s helped me tae jog ma memory, of the people thit a love the most,,
 
It’s chocka block’ wae lots of history, and wee memories of days of old,,
When a read the other peoples patter, a jist hiv tae add a bit mair gold,,
 
In ma mind it’s a vision” of Hamilton, but more so the great people there,
Never have a met anyother race, with passion n’ pride, n’ who realy care,,
 
I ‘ll say one thing with certainty, this paintin’ won’t be done tae am dead,
I’m sure thirs mair tae come fae all of you, and where a wis born n’ bred,,
 
( it’s up tae you tae fill in the blanks,, thanks )
 
The above poem was written for Historic Hamilton byHugh Hainey.

Whenever i think of Hame…

Whenever I think of Hame”” Hamilton”comes into my mind,
The people and the places, they are of a very special kind,
The place has changed so much, over all these many years,
Sometimes, just one wee memory, brings back happy tears,

I spent my youth in this great place, with “happy, happy days,
That’s where my life was shaped, in oh so many many ways,
Not so much the place, but all the people who made this town,,
For passion pride n’ friendship,” Hamiltonians” hold the Crown””

(A Very special toon’)

The above poem was written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Haney.

Memories of ma maw….

Memories of ma maw””
It’s not funny n’ no much joy, if youv’e got sisters, n’ you’re the only boy,,
Wan day they ganged up, they thought they’ed play a wee joke,,
The day they awe decided a wid look realy good, in oor mary’s auld frocke”
Oh ye’le make a loveley wee lassie wis emma’s cries, puttin mascara on ma eyes
They fluffed awe ma hair, n’ stuff, a shouted that’s enough, isobel dabed on a powder puff,,
Oh look at him he looks realy cannae” mary said a know whit let’s caw him fanny”;
Ma da came in ,he near went through the roof, a think he thought a wis a poof’
By this time a wis in a tizzy, ma aunty said he’s no wanny them hienz beans izzy?
Me mam seen a wis in a state, mams know cause mams are realy great,,
Come on she say’s, look at his face yiv gone too far, here son try this trainin Bra””
Very F’n funny Ha, Ha, Fn, Ha,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Two Fat Ladies.

 

Two fat ladies, ,

Kin ye remember years ago in Hamilton some uf the pubs wur bloody manky?
Ye walked in the bar slid awe ower n’ then ye got served by the widow twanky,,
They wur the real auld “spit n’ sawdust, oh aye “whit dae ye want light ur heavy”
Well ye see , back then ye wurnae spoilt fur choice, ur ye jist didnae git a bevvy”
***************************************
Then some guy’s got the gether, here’s a great idea, whit aboot a “social club”
Well that day changed everythin’ n’ fur hunners, it soon became the social hub”
They hid a games room, a separate bar, a lounge’ then a great big concert hall”
Music, a trio, comedians, perfict fur dancin’ n” up a hight a big magic”glitterball”
****************************************
The Greenfield” wis magic, a resident group, n’ ma auld teacher wis the organist”
They hid somethin’ fur everywan, it wi great sittin in comfort while gittin pissed”
“Can ye hear me in the lounge Andy” well, that always caused a big stampede ”
” Bingo in the concert room” ye see fur awe the women it’s a big o’ game speed ”
*****************************************
The wimen wur it the ready, wae thir dabbers, a hunner poun fur a full hoose”
Ye could hear a pin drop, the wans thit spoke ower the turn, quiet as a moose ”
The wimen always hid book uf six, cause tae play they hid tae know the lingo”
Eyes doon look in, jist ye ask any woman, thil say it’s a serious game this bingo”
*******************************************
Ye know thir great places the clubs, thiv got somethin oan nearly every night,,
A kin remember ma mates sayin” where ye bin, n’ cawin me worse thin shite”
Somebody seen ye on Tuesday, gawn past “sing sing” wae wee whitehill Annie”
C’mon spill the beans, “awrite I’ll hivtae admit it “A lumbered it grab a grannie “”

(Well the aulder the fiddle the better the tune)

Historic Hamilton

 

Is thur nae end tae the talent uf this wee man Garry” He’s a right wee “celeb”
A see like “incy wincy” he’s started tae put “Historic Hamilton” oan the Web”
It’s awready in the pipeline he say’s, it’ll no be long tae it’s set up n’ oan air”
Ave jist got a wee bit tweakin” tae dae it’ll be ready soon, jist a “wee baw hair”
Well don’t ye worry aboot it Garry” son, we awe know yir no a “Jock the Lum”
So we kin only wait in anticipation, fur the magical things thits gonnae come”
Oh n’ see yir great wee video’s on the markit, I’ll need tae order masel’ a copy,,
Bit the only thing, ma computers near is auld is you, hiv ye got disc thits floppy”
(Keep up the good work)

The above poem was written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Hainey.
This one made me laugh!

www.historic-hamilton.co.uk
www.hitstorichamilto.wordpress.com

A WISH TOO,

A wish a wis in a toon, in Strathclyde” auld Hamilton” its the name,,
A wish a wis walkin aboot the auld toon, although it’s not the same,,
A wish a could be in Harrisons”, and bein fitted fur a brand new suit,,,
A wish a could wear it the morra’ fur am gawn tae a works night oot,,
A wish a wis in Friola’s” fur thir’ fish n’ chips, ur thir great ice cream,,,
A wish a wis back in the auld Baths ” aye noo that wid be ma dream,,
A wish a wis stawnin, in Skeltons ” bar n’ drinkin a wee pint of light,,
A wish a wis back wae awe ma mates, jist muckin aboot awe night,,
A wish a wis back in the Troc” ye’ll find me singin” along and dancin,,
A wish a could git a wee lumber, cause a miss awe that romancin”,,
A wish a could see the wee faces , of awe the great people passin by”,,
A wish a could hear thir’ magic voices, wae thir’ patter that wis wry”
A wish a wis in Hill St, cuttin through wee Hosies” tae git tae the Bing”
A wish a wis sittin Doc’s,bar n’ hear the great “Johnny No Cash” sing”,,
A wish a could go intae Bairds” shop n’ go up n’ doon in their big lift,,
A wish a could go back tae Woolworhs ” tae buy ma wee maw a gift,,
A wish a wis still young and fitter and be once more dead “gallous””
A wish a wis still workin “the Waltzer” n’ the fair’ came tae the Palace, ,
A wish a wis stawnin ootside “Burtons windae” day’in a Harry Worth”,,
A wish a wis back in auld Burnbank ” that great wee place of ma birth””
A wish a could bit a cannie! Because ye see thir’ isnae anything left”
A wish the Cooncil”a curse! Because thiv left this great place Bereft”
(Huba Huba)

The above poem was written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Hainey.

Who?

Who?
Hiv ye ever met a livin” legend? Well I’ve met some , quite a few,,
Ye never know, fur efter this wee poem, wan o’ them could you,,

A wis asked the other day tae write somethin” aboot Burnbank “
A new some ‘patter merchants ‘so if it stinks it’s them tae thank,

A always wondered where, some guy’s got thir’ wee nicknames, ,
I’ll bet you kin tell me ! So let’s go n” hiv some wee fun n” games,,
Windy Miller, Stoorie Moore, n” best of all that wee Stucky Stirlin”

God this list could go on forever, noo ma brains jist started Birlin”
Dae ye remember Muck Mc Knight? Aye, He always comes
mind,,

Ask him any questions, n” always right, he’s never wrong? Yil find,,

I’ll jist mention wan mare name, he wis the “Jungles”famous man,
C’mon ye awe know who am talkin aboot, the one n’ only “Tarzan””

If ye kin think aboot anybody, don’t leave yir memories on the shelf,

We want tae know! Alive ur deed , promise, we’ll keep it tae oorself”

Right let c’mon then, who ur they ? Give is awe some wee surprises”

But don’t forget! THAT LEGENDS COME IN AWE SHAPES N’ SIZES””

(GARRY’S SOON TAE BE WAN O’ THEM, GIVE HIM THE C.D.M.)

The above poem was written for Historic Hamilton by Hugh Hainey,

Tell us your memories of growing up in Burnbank, or even better have you got a photo that you would like to share?